Gains and losses...

So long since the last tag... a week, imagine that? Just goes to show how busy i was in this long and hectic week, most probably for the next as well.

I really don't want to do this anymore.

I don't wan to be the reason why everytime i walk out the door, i see a pile of work laid inside.

I don't want to hurt people around me anymore and i don't wan to end my own life.

I don't want to be like this.

I don't want to face work coming down the mountain like a giant snowball aimed right at me.

I don't want to do things i don't like to do, like homework with subjects i simply cannot learn.

I don't want to end up living a non fruitful life where i follow a script to play my role.

I just want to scream and lose control, throw my hands up and let it go, forget about everything and runaway.

But no. I have people whom i simply cannot let down, and people i don't wan to let down.

I have responsibilities that concern other people, and love in all the things i wan to do now.

Its a question of whther i can or cannot.

I still can.

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Racial Harmony in the week...

Well, to me that has only posed a problem when a particular race have people who simply do not abide to the racial 'coherence'.

Also, i have finished my English Persuasive speech. Pleased even though the only fault Ms Tan could possibly find was that i had talked too fast. Well that has always been a problem somehow, even during yesterday's emceeing for POPRD 2007... But that talk will be left for later...

And of course as usual during the week, the tremendous bout of school commitments and homework that has struck me down...

School events:
National Day Bazaar
MC Handbook and Promotion
Internal Convention/Spirit Victoria
these are the more recent ones...

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And i thought i would give myself a reflection now...

Of gains and losses in my life... How people fail to notice them?

I have lost:

14 years of my life and will continue losing more...

A childhood i can both vaguely and distinctively remember...

Friends who may have gone on with thier other lives...

Memories which i might have not really remembered...

And of course other emotions and feelings i might have wanted to express...

But i have gained...

Experience, Friendship, Kinship, Recognition, Trust, Respect, Dignity, and understanding that i am really thankful for...

And all these are worth much more than what i have lost even if those lost had been precious too...

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POPRD 2007:

The day was great... Although it was for a sad cause but still... Morning Preps started for us at 9.15am... while those lucky lower secs only have to come at 12.45pm... But anyway... Had to do a lot of final touches to the main presentation and the farewell video... But at least i did not have to work my ass off to get things prepared... Although i had to face the laptop for like the whole day with constant pushing from GSL... but nevertheless, i managed that challenge...

Then just after finishing the final touches on it, i remembered about the script and had to rush it out in like 15 mins, excluding print time, when we like 5 mins away from going downstairs for flagbreak and photoshoot... Considering the ceremony room was at ava room and the only way to the 2nd floor was the hall stairs, i had to run like a certain waste product from the human anus... Managed that challenge yet again... Before going to the next challenge, emceeing alone...

We had the presentation going and award giving, then it was the sec 4s video... I was really amazed by my own work, and truly touched at what we have gone through as a whole of sec 3 and 4s... Looking through the old photos while preparing the video had helped me learnt and remembered alot from their past... And many were impressed by the video...

With 'unglam' shots, as muyao calls them, of Sec 4s when they were younger or in some weird spot... Laughter and emotions had became part of the room's atmosphere... And the sec 3s had received the last 3 hip-hip-hooray from them...

Then we progressed to the Passing Over Parade... where me, zhicong and shuliang were supposed to received the flag from alif, derrick, xurong and adriel... we were to march out and the centre one would receive the flag from adriel... details are negligible... Then after that people stared asking me if i was TL... But no one realised that the statement from wilbeng had been vital...

Dinner was buffet, and after that we proceeded to give the sec 4s their gifts that we had gotten... Adriel was really nice with his 'thank you's...

Its really sad to me, being with them for more than 2 years now, and seeing them leave the troop, and evntually leaving the school... And that really 'makes me wonder' if i will receive the same feelings from my juniors, the so-called new generation that has totally different ideals, with the same comparison as white is to black... Will they cherish us like how we cherish our seniors? Or will they cant wait to see our backs when we leave?...

But anyway, the sec 3s are supposed to discuss and vote to get a name and inform the ALC, which would then be either accepted or rejected... But im not thinking too much now...

Whats more important now is to keep that Arrow Flag unfurled...