what and why?

I haven been myself lately... Not because i dun wan to... But i just cant...

Restrictions and roadblocks that jam my way along... Taking the detour that says 'NOT Shervin'... Hopefully by the end of this coming week, ill be more myself again... When all the work and pressure is gone... Ill work hard to Be...

But a more important issue lies ahead... Troop leader... And im saying this even though this is public and Scouts are reading it...

Im ready to Be... To work hard and claim the post... If i was given the chance... But currently, not the case...

I din get to aid in commanding the contigent... N im no longer on level playing ground as others... Those i regard as competitors are rising up on the same pace... My fault? I hope not...

If i get my SL post... Then technically i should be the ONE... But too bad, scouts dun do it this way... Its in the eye of the leader to choose... So i can only work hard both in studies and commitments now to prove myself and others wrong...

Aspirations... Whenever someone asked i never had an answer, cuz i din have any... I make small short term goals and targets... So that it is more believable than ambitions since half the time people dun get wat they wan...

Sec 1, i wanted to be a PL and TL...

Sec 2, i wanted to be a prefect, but changed my mind... Then JL came along...

Sec 3 now, i wan SL and after becoming assistant monitor, i wanted the exco position... And the TL i wanted since Sec 1...

Sec 4, most likely i wud wan at least 10 points... Thats y i always worked hard since sec 1, i noe effort can be recognised... And relations were important...

But its just that when i do something that im proud of myself... My family arent that all proud of me... Then now studies have become part of the gameplay...

Improving is a must... No longer an option... Since young ive been getting comments in my report book for having potential... But not using it... Which means im smart but i dun put in effort... But even though i can study, im not a 'studier', all i wanted was to fulfil my hopes and dreams...

And im glad most of them are done... Now oni the TL lies ahead... In my eyes, i think only changda and zhicong are true competitors... And scouts in vs dun recognise ATLs... Thats y SLI will always oni have 1 Sec 3 taking part under scouts...

I will now say im ready to compete for this title... And that i will do wateva it takes(legally) to get it...

Wilbeng, im ready for it... Wateva training i have to take up ill do... And this time, i Promise to manage my studies well... And take up that responsibility...

People around all see my capabilities as a leader... But not the ones whom i wan them to see...

Seniors, teachers, peers, even mr maran... But im not getting recognised by those that i wan to...

On a more personal level, i realli should be given a fairer chance to prove myself... I din have a part in scouts camp apart from food... Cuz i was rejected from submitting my proposal...

This time, i wun be foolish... i will lead...

Moving on to something less serious...

Wat is fate and destiny? Some people follow date their life, choosing to follow wats predestined...

Others defy fate, and decide their own destiny, believing that willpower can break all barriers... Now u tell me, which is right?

Either way, following both too closely will result in a worthless life...

Following fate too much will make urself veri unhappy...

Attempting to break all barriers just show one's foolishness...

So wat do we do?

Knowing when to do wat is the answer. Knowing how to do Wichever is the key.

Knowing is essential.

So long since i had a long post... and this time its longer... ive been realli struck with work this few days, but by the end of this week, im a free man...

Things i have not blogged on...

1. Perth Trip
2. MC Camp
3. Teachers' Column

ive been listening to more emo songs lately, emo in my opinion...

Ni Guang by Stephanie Sun
Bu Tong by Angela Chang
When You Believe by Whitney & Mariah
Ying Tian by Karen Mok
Ai by Karen Mok
Unfaithful by Rihanna
A Little Too Late by Jojo

and some which arent in the above list...

Zhong Guo Hua by S.H.E
Sha Shou by JJ Lin *new*
Zhi Fei Ji by Penny Dai
Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5
Umbrella by Rihanna

and its just realli de-stressing for me... just sitting in front of this screen singing away at lovely ballads and RnB songs...

I've realli learnt alot this year... I know im repeating my self but its true...

Thanks to the people i met and the experiences ive been through...

Thanks to my friends... Those that stood by all the time...
Thanks to some of my teachers... For all the guidance and relief you provide...
Thanks to my family... In all ways possible...
Thanks to Scouts... For making me what i am today...
Thanks to Victoria... For giving me space and opportunities to grow and be something more...

The upcoming challenges:

1. Homework
2. Victorian Challenge
3. Speech Day
4. Passing Over Parade
5. Campfire
6. Exams

And i dun tink ill be joining 3J for Victorian Challenge... Ill be under Scouts CCA Challenge on that day most likely...

You know the Challenge torch? Most likely the Sec 3s will be keeping a real fire burning for 24 hours, and then be used for the Torch Ceremony... Cool huh?
Should be a piece of cake... considering campfires can last for 2 to 3 hours by themselves, and only require feeding about once every hour...

well its over a thousand words now... and the time is right for me to sign off...

got a geog project to finish...

till next time...