Bus rides.

Enough is enough people. We all know that within us, we all have a list of hated commuters to share bus rides with.

Presenting to you, 15 years of terrible bus ride history, the Commuters' Hall of Shame:

Ranked at 12th:

Musicians

Defined as: People who play with the bells.

Issue:
It's horridly irritating especially when you're awake, and you're mp3-deprived. If I'm sleeping, I doubt they'll press so much till I wake up.

Suggested solution:
Press once only bells. Then the bus captain have to reactivate before pressing again. 21st century, we need to keep up.

Next at 11th:

Vandalisers

Defined as: People who display artistic talent and literary expressions on seats and seat backs.

Issue:
Actually I'm fine with them as long as they don't write on the seats. I get fears when I sit on scribbled seats, and I usually avoid them.

Suggested solution:
Stick to your seat backs people. Or if SBS is really rich, they can have Nippon Easy Wash paint everywhere. xD

Number 10:

Inconsideraters

Defined as: People who either snore or stink.

Issue:
I admit I may have been as such at times, but I do not force my body upon others if possible.

Suggested solution:
Come on people, we have invented deodorants.

Then 9th:

Ignorers

Defined as: People whom ignore you and still force their way down the bus even after you have signalled that you are alighting as well.

Issue:
Patience is a virtue. It's better to press the bell more and keep the door open than push innocent people aside.

Suggested solution:
Pay attention to signals. PLEASE.

We have 8th:

Squeezers

Defined as: People who cut queue while boarding buses and even after they have boarded.

Issue:
The bus is not going to leave without you, especially since you are already on the bus. Worse, even when there are no seats to chiong for. If you're squeezing to make space, feel free; if not WAIT.

Suggested solution:
STAY.

Here comes 7th:

PDA-ers

Defined as: Not PDA as in the device, but public display of affection.

Issue:
Get real, no one is interested.

Suggested solution:
At least do it silently.

6th:

Guard door-dogs

Defined as: People who stand or sit near the door just so that they can get down easily and safely.

Issue:
I'm perfectly fine with sitting, but standing? People are trying to get up the bus and you're blocking the whole line by not moving.

Suggested solution:
Press bell if door closes before you get there. Yes, in case you didn't realised, buses have bells.

Finally 5th:

Non-budgers.

Defined as: People who refuse to move in. Yes they exist.

Issue:
They are either blind(no offence to genuine cases) or simply too heavy to shift that fat legs and body. COME ON PEOPLE WANT TO GET ON AND THERE'S LIKE A HUGE DISTANCE FOR FIVE PEOPLE BETWEEN YOU AND THE GUY AT THE BACK.

Suggested solution:
Get in or get off. Get lost also can.

Phew! 4th:

Hoggers

Defined as: People who hog seats for 'good brothers'.

Issue:
HELLO THE BUS IS FREAKING FULL AND YOU'RE TAKING TWO SEATS. No offence to larger people. BUT THE MIDGETS AND ALL.

Suggested solution:
Just get down the bus.

3rd, they start to suck more:

Noisy buggers

Defined as: People who simply listen to loud music openly or talk loudly.

Issue:
I'm guilty, but only when I'm with a whole lot of people. THERE ARE PEOPLE WORSE THAN TVMOBILE. (I support TVMobile by the way, yes.)

Suggested solution:
I hope you go deaf with the music.

2nd, horrid beings:

Actors

Defined as: People who pretend to sleep. Evolved from hoggers.

Issue:
Pretend to sleep just to stop people from sitting with them.

Suggested solution:
You had better not snore. Otherwise you'll die suffocating.

(beware of explosion below; vulgarities removed.)

1:

Speed Racers

Defined as: PEOPLE WHO RUSH TO GET ON BUSES AND CHIONG FOR SEATS EVEN WHEN THERE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH SEATS.

Issue:
HELLO? THERE ARE ENOUGH SEATS! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FOR THEM? FENGSHUI AH? OR GOT YOUR SALIVA STAIN THEN CAN SLEEP BETTER? OR RUSHING TO GO JUMP IS IT?

Suggested solution:
BURN IN HELL.

*returns to original state; monster manifestation ends*

On a side note, I did eat my GODLY GREEN TEA McFLURRY in the end. And I regret not having tried McCafe Frappes.

I shall soon return with Frappe Reviews once I have tasted all. MUAHAHA.

Disclaimer: All randomness is to be forgiven. Blogger was stuck in a freaking sardin can Bus 15 between 10 to 11pm, and his friend worse, abandoned at the front entrance.

We should start having buses like the Singapore Airlines A380. ON LAND. They have to occupy four lanes then.