Cold turkey.

I'm really trying my best.

But some things just can't work the way I want them to.

Even if it's cold turkey.

Sorry in advance.

*

It's been long.

I'm really losing it this time. But still clinging on.

It is possible to make yourself sick by just thinking about it, so there's actually truth to doctors saying that it's caused by mental whatever etc.

I'm not feeling well.

But I'm not stopping anywhere.

And I sorta breached 'cold turkey', but not exactly cos it wasn't reciprocated.

Now I fear tomorrow.

*

I'm guessing that there's a threshold for sadness.

Cos I've reached the point where I don't really feel sad anymore.

Things that don't go my way happen one after the other and...

I'm not sad anymore. Feels weird, but not sad.

Touch wood for all that I'm about to say.

I haven't lost loved ones, I haven't lost prized possessions, I haven't faced death in a long time.

That does not mean I can't be at the threshold.

Sadness is merely a human emotion. I'm used to wielding them before; why not this time?

Being numb to sadness isn't a good thing, but I cherish that. When pain can't be my protector, I still live on.

I'm about to move on. Just watch.

The week has been long.