Colours.

I used to love grey, white, black and red. I still do, there's no change.

Just that now I love grey, white, black, red , and green.

*

I stared at a photo on my phone on the bus home today.

I held on to something I second most loved, today.

I waited by the phone today.

I have dreams, I have wishes.

And even though I know that some things can't be helped, some things can't be forced, some things can't be changed and some things never happen, it doesn't deter me from dreaming.

It hurts to continue living with forbidden love. It hurts to think about it, it hurts to dream about it, it hurts.

Self denial has its limits. We all want and need reciprocation. I live with fake contentment.

But when it smiles, there's no reason not to be happy.

I still surrender to the look. There's no change in anything, before and after this post.

Many people reject such times and dismiss them as 'emo' or 'depressing', that's why so many people never learn and they read to understand superficially. They're not moving on, they're merely running backwards, on a treadmill.

It keeps me sane, it keeps me breathing.

I know what I live for, and it knows that I live for it too.

And I hate that I love it.

If I can't last a day without seeing, I'm pretty sure I'll perish in a month.

*

Sometimes when you don't get something, it simply means that it's not meant for you to understand. Duh.